lock

i’m locking you in. i’m locking you in my heart and caring it with me.
wherever i’ll be, that’s where you’ll be.

they say

so they say… “if you love someone, let him / her go”.
what would you do if you face the same situation?

what should i do then? tell me.
how i wish i opened my eyes tomorrow, it’ll be back to yesterday where we was.
how i wish…

na xie nu hai jiao wo de shi by victor wong.

do you feel it too?

today signifies the end of the week and beginning of a new week. the month of april has come to an end. it has been a month we lost each other. how long will that be? i can’t pretend what i’m not. i’m not strong. i can admit this. i tried to be. i kept telling the one in the mirror to be strong and i just can’t be. i know that i’ve lost you but i just can’t accept it. i don’t want it to be. i’ll do anything to have you back. it’s driving me crazy. in the night, i dream of you. in the day, i see you appearing next to me. tell me how! how do i get over you like how you get over me?

scolding by lee hyori.

this weekend

yesterday, went to help out at a bursary award presentation event. held at singapore buddhist lodge, river valley. basically, nothing much but just being an usher and help to bring in the students to their respective places. i guess i saw most of the schools in singapore. haha. then, meet up with my parents at vivocity for dinner at food republic. didn’t exactly had anything for myself because i was still full. i had vegetarian before this. imagine a satay can be a vegetarian food? haha. although doesn’t taste exactly the same but somehow it mimics the smell and a little of the taste.

the day before, i went to ntuc to do some groceries. i was thinking of buying fruit jam for my breakfast. i hold up a bottle of the jam. i saw the label. the brand sounds so familiar. somehow i’ve heard before. it just came to me that somehow i’ve talked with her on the phone about which jam she’s going to buy. is it this? i like blueberry; i like berries. she likes strawberry. mixed fruit? house brand? there are things that you want to forget but somehow you just can’t or is it actually that you yourself don’t want to forget. i think i chose to remember.

my off day

yes, today’s my off day. been doing a lot of stuffs lately and requested from my superior a rest day for myself. lately, been reading on crystals. there’s this friend of mine who wants to know more about it but i think she’s quite busy with her work. so on behalf of her part, i did the reading for her and digested all the information she needed. hope she read my mail! i feel this book is quite a good book for beginners. haha. my friend even laughed at me because he thought i’m reading some kind of pregnancy book. haha. i still miss you.

title: crystal power
author: ken and joules taylor
isbn: 1-84181-288-9

can fei by wu ke qun.

another monday

today is just like any other monday. blues is the word. being appointed as the person-in-charge of the learning room together with marcus and our ic, mdm lee. i’m not sure whether i should be happy that i’m selected or i’m sad being selected. nonetheless, i should think positive. i’m being appointed because our oc pins high hopes on me. haha. basically, was so busy after i came back from my gym session with justin. i didn’t even know that time passes by so fast. in the blink of an eye, the clock hits five. i guess today’s the worst day of the month. i forgotten to take my bunk key when i want to open my bunk. i forgotten about my wallet when i want to take a bus. i was running up and down like mad. i walked into a puddle of water. i want to jog but ended up raining heavily.

although everything turns up badly but still there are good times as well. at least, i had a joyful dinner at qiaoyun’s house. her mom’s cooking are delicious. i love it! had a lot of vege and bee hoon for dinner. thanks to her for keeping scooping food onto my plates. haha. thanks for the milo+milk. it’s nice! continued with my hobby which is washing all the dishes. the usual routine i will always do when i finished my dinner at her house. why my hobby? i love to wash dishes. i would take my time doing it. haha. i was wondering… my wife would have a good time after dinner because i’ll wash everything for her. haha. i’m so tired. oh yea. i woke up late today. i totally didn’t hear my alarm ring at all. maybe i was dreaming then. haha. goodnight!

botak jones

we had our botak jones @ bukit batok. the meal sets are big in servings. i had cajun chicken while the rest of them had fish and chips. haha. i’m still feeling full which i don’t usually do for any western food i had. plus, it tastes darn good too. thumbs up! my friend even asked me to send some to him. haha.

today i met up with her at my area. i quickly move out of my house as soon i heard that she boarded the bus. the first 157 i saw was a double deck. i didn’t see her alight from it. quickly i made a call. then, i saw far behind there’s another 157. a single deck. i saw her. i’m still having these feelings. the feelings of heart pounding fast, stutter when i talk when i knew i’m going to see her. i guess those are the feelings when you’re going to face someone you like. this time is different. i’m carrying those feelings with a mix feeling of sadness. i wanted to pass her the book “the gift of nothing” but she read on the spot and returned it back to me. i felt like i was knocked down by a truck, meteor strike on me the moment she turn down all my requests and even returned back the book to me. i knew why she wouldn’t accept. she just wanted to kill off all the links that will lead her to remember this person which is me. i made her sad. i even made her cried. that’s how evil i am to her. i’ve got nothing to say but just only i deserve it. finally, i met her face to face and apologize to her which i’ve been wanted to do so for so long. i’m really sorry!

now, that i’ve hurted her deeply. i told myself,
“i’ll never allow myself to get close to her anymore.
i’ll never allow myself to hurt her once more.”

ramenten

meet up with bingjie at chinese garden and we proceeded to vivocity to exchange my polo tee at freshbox. meet up with jinjing and suwah at vivocity and went on to far east plaza. walk around, eat around till the time passes by and till everyone has arrived. i had my spicy mapo ramen. indeed spicy. only two level of spiciness but i’m already perspiring like mad. i have low spicy intolerance. lousy me. haha. after dinner, we walked around because the girls need to do their shopping. we went home after that.

woke up quite early today. went online as usual, msn, friendster, surf around. to my surprise, my comments again was deleted. she wasn’t logon to her friendster but managed to remove my comments. i wonder how? i was quite sad that it was removed. am i such a terrible friend that you loathed me so much? even my comments, messages and calls irritates you as well? i’m living in misery everyday. where are you when i needed you so much.

mv: yin wei shi ni by cyndi wang.

i feel tired

that is how i felt for this whole week. i didn’t know why and how but i know i’m just tired. my body feels it and my mind feels it too. it’s friday today and this is to say that i can sleep all i want till next morning. haha. this whole week updates are as followings. busy cleaning and tidying up the stores. issue and receive of equipments. busy thinking of someone. been missing someone badly too. haha. i must make full use of my coming weekend. there’s been a lot of things that has been delayed from schedule. it’s time to pack up some things. alright, here’s a song for you. beauty and the beast.

Jang Nara & Sung Si Kyung – Beauty And The Beast.

fell sick

finally fell sick. my stomach wasn’t feeling well. all thanks to spicy food and chillies i had for this week. i never knew all along that little things could make a big different in life. went to 7-11 to pay for my bill. while queuing up, i was looking at this canister of lollipop. it just reminded me of someone. do you still love cola flavour? i just had my 5.5km run today. after the run, my stomach was on fire. that’s what i felt. it’s somehow better now.

just hang up with someone. she’s worried and sad. all i can do is to listen and comfort. i will pray for his safety. he’s someone close to me too. he’ll be fine.

fang bu xia by kaira gong.